Beauty in the Breakdown

Cloudy with a chance of

2011-05-01T08:11:00.000-07:00

Spaghetti and Meatballs

Pretty simple.

My friend (the amateur photographer) took a few pictures.

Stick the spaghetti through hotdogs and cook them like normal.

I always seem to be very concentrated on whatever I'm doing.

It's really not that hard.

And now for the photo art.

I feel like these ones belong in a nightclub.

Enjoy!

Crafting Before Coffee

2011-04-30T08:11:00.000-07:00

Crazy I know.

As the coffee was brewing this morning I started looking at the pile of things I need to do on my desk. (School's over now so I have no more reasons to keep putting these things off)

So, I picked the easiest thing on the pile to do.

Voila!

Now my bag clips can go on the side of the fridge when they're not in use rather than on the counter.

Later I'll share what I made for dinner last night....it was pretty fun.

Happy Saturday!

Breathe in Breathe out

2011-04-21T21:51:00.000-07:00

I'll just take a moment here. These last few weeks have been busy. I've been working on homework, projects, had team meetings, babysitting, getting together with friends, church things, and everyone but me is moving out of my house. To try and coordinate all of this is pretty much my job right now. I'm enjoying it, but need to remember to take a moment and breathe.

Even in the chaos, breathing is essential.

Breathing while drinking a cup of coffee with a friend.

Breathing while gossiping on the phone about people you once knew but still need to keep tabs on.

Breathing while dancing in a bar completely sober because you gave up drinking for Lent.

Breathing while playing card games you once did when you were a kid and made up rules for because you're too old to remember the real rules or too lazy to look them up.

Breathing while reading the book 90 Minutes in Heaven and realizing that time here is only the beginning of something beautiful.

Breathing while realizing you need more sleep because backing out of the garage in reverse is normal but almost convincing yourself to put your car in drive to accomplish this task.

Breathing while rejoicing that summer is almost here, the flowers will bloom and Firefly will have never tasted so sweet....

Try it, it might surprise you.

blond brownies!

2011-04-12T22:09:00.000-07:00

Tonight I made blond brownies.

I like to experiment with this recipe and use different things for it.

You will need:

1 egg

1 box of cake mix

1 stick of butter

2 c chocolate chips

***Oven temp- 375***

***I added an extra egg because my batter was still dry mix after the first egg***

Press your brownie batter mix into your greased 13 x 9 pan

(or you could improvise like I did and use an incredibly heavy 17x13 glass casserole dish for your brownies)

20 minutes later...

Deliciousness.

Yum.

I wanted to point out I realize my blog design is not in its normal state....I'm crossing my fingers photobucket will have it back up and running soon.

Hiatus

2011-04-10T08:42:00.000-07:00

I'm finally back in the blogosphere. I took a long break and kept staring at this blog not knowing what to write about. These last few months have been interesting. In November, about the time I stopped blogging...I think I had an emotional breakdown. I went back to my parents house and slept on their couch for four days straight. I think I was doing too much too fast and it all caught up to me. I'm so thankful they were there to help me along through my emotions and anxieties and now I feel fine.

I'm still going to school chugging along. Hopefully I'll be done May 2012 so I've got time to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

Feels kind of odd blogging again so it may take me a while to get back in the swing of things.

Thanks for continuing to follow me. I appreciate everyone's comments!

The Happy Chaos

2010-11-16T14:13:00.000-08:00

I haven't been able to formulate my thoughts into complete sentences of what I wanted to write next.Earlier this month I turned 22. I kind of felt like it was a bittersweet thing because being 21 seems like you've met your rite of passage. That you are now seen as an adult. But, now...all I have to look forward to is being 30. Yeah, not so much. I wasn't looking forward to the number, but I was looking forward to the day. My boyfriend and I went to a football game and then I got to choose where we went next and a birthday present. I chose to go present shopping for a long sleeve shirt for our football team. We managed success and I love it! Then, we went to a restaurant for calamari, sushi and beer. Then a pumpkin pie blizzard for dessert. I thought it was absolutely fabulous. That was my day. But, in the spirit of 22ness...I thought I would let you know of 22 things going on with me.

1) My friend Leah started a blog and doesn't have very many followers. So if you could go and check her out...you won't be disappointed.

2) I volunteered to work a spiritual retreat this weekend. I have to plan a talk about why they chose to be there and how much they can get out of the weekend if they are open to the experience. (I'm a little nervous and still trying to pull my talk together).

3) I am contemplating changing my school schedule so I can graduate a semester earlier than I am projected to. I'm not sure of all the pros and cons of this so we'll see what happens.

4) I'm meeting my blog friend (and real friend) Leah in about 30 mins for coffee. So if you could check her blog out here that would rock!

5) The song for the weekend is "Something Beautiful" by NEEDTOBREATHE. I really like it and can't get it out of my head. Definitely a good thing.

6) My boyfriend's sister is getting married this summer so I had a great weekend of yummy food and lots of conversation. I'm so happy for her and can't wait to see all the wedding details come together.

7) Do you ever wonder what your purpose, your reason for being on this Earth is? I do. daily.

8) I sometimes wonder if the reason I am babysitting now and the reason for being a small part of these children's lives is because I will have children of my own that may have special needs and I needed to have some techniques and experience before God thrusts it upon me.

9) When I was 18, just 4 years ago, a boy that had gone to my same youth group passed away. He had lung cancer. I was at his funeral service and realized that I am 4 days older. Just 4 days. It hit home. Big time. I cry every once and a while when I realize this. Well, his birthday was 4 days after mine and it hit home again.

10) This is a quote from him. "Question: Why do we fear death? Answer: Because life ends. Question: Does it?"

11) If you have some extra time to pray. Please pray for our retreat weekend.

12) I would really love to learn to play the guitar one day. I am not really sure why. I just feel like it would be pretty fun.

13) This list is taking a while to come up with wonderful things to tell you. I could tell you that my toenails are painted pink. It's also windy and blustery outside, but much warmer than other places in the state.

14) Coffee is one of my favorite things. I look forward to it everyday.

15) Over my Christmas break I am making it a point to read one of those books I featured in my last post. I've read 2 pages since I got them.

16) What is your favorite part of the holidays? I think mine is the relaxation part. Once all the chaos is gone there is a calm. I like that.

17) In the spring, I may take a real estate class. I really like houses and looking at them. It's one way that I feel relaxed. It's kind of fun to see all the different ways people have put sticks and nails together to make it home.

18) I also may have big plans for my future regarding school. I want to just keep going. I don't like the being at school part but I like the learning part.

19) I've probably listened to this song 3 times already.

20) I've been busy, really busy...but I think it's a happy chaos. I have a big list of all the things I need to do before Friday, but I'm really happy today. I'm thankful for that. Happiness.

21) With all the things weighing on my heart, I look forward to this weekend and all the things the kids on this retreat can experience. It's unlike any retreat I've ever been on and I am fortunate to be asked to be a part of it. Please offer up a prayer if you would.

22) It's coffee time!

Somedays...

2010-11-03T08:07:00.000-07:00

It feels like I'm running and running and get no where. Do you ever get that feeling sometimes? It's not an entirely bad feeling, it's just one that makes you hope you get a breath of fresh air soon. This semester has been an intense one for me. 18 credits, 15-25 hours babysitting a week, and trying to have some form of social life. I am enjoying it, but some days...I just keep running. This weekend was loads of fun dressing up as Waldo and Wenda. Laughing that hard for that long is always a good thing. I can't wait until Halloween next year because I'll have to think up something just as fun to out do myself.

But enough about running and Halloween.

I have an announcement. (not a super fun announcement so don't get your hopes up). Just a normal, run of the mill announcement about the with a cherry on top part of my day. I babysit....a lot and yesterday a lady I babysit for was pulling books out of the back of her car. They were going to be donated to goodwill and she said to take some if I would like them. (They have loads of books and I've been eyeballing some of them for a while). Well, I found a few that looked interesting. We Were the Mulvaneys by Joyce Carol Oates, The Last Child by John Hart, and Supernanny by Jo Frost (which I'm not sure if I agree with some of her techniques. That'll be another blog day). Those were the oh, it looks good maybe I'll read them one day. But the book that made me hit the jackpot....3 cherries in a row was

I am extremely excited to be able to read this book. It looked so interesting to me and I'd been eyeballing this one for a long time. Now, if only I could run faster and get to Thursday night...(after all 5 of my tests this week) I can read read read.

P.S. Does anyone have any camera suggestions? Mine is kind of on it's last leg and I'm looking into getting something a little bit nicer than an $89 one. Does anyone have a camera that they are absolutely in love with and couldn't live without? I'm really open to suggestions.

Where's Waldo...........and Wenda?

2010-10-31T22:22:00.000-07:00

We got a little creative.

Then we got even more creative.

I thoroughly enjoyed the sunglasses.

We just wanted to warn our trick-or-treaters that this is what happens when you down too much candy corn.

I enjoyed this year's Halloween...maybe a little too much.

My mom and sister came over and hid little rats all around my house.

I counted six in total but have only found five...

Waldo and I played Chess and Yahtzee tonight...he's not as sore of a loser when we play these games.

Hope you all had a great and safe Halloween!

Without

2010-10-27T07:36:00.000-07:00

my computer for a week made me realize how much time I could spend doing other things. Like, more homework, reading non-school books, and spending time with others. It's been amazing to be honest. I'm a mafia wars addict, yes mafia wars...I don't know what level you are but once you reach level 200 you're definitely an addict. Well, that was 653 levels ago. Yes, I am a mafia wars addict on level 853. I was going to just go to level 1000 and be done, but then realized how much time it sucks away from me. So, I'm pretty much done. I go to check it out every once and a while but as for playing, not so much.
One week I challenged myself to blog for 5 days straight, I did it. So now I'm challenging myself to read something from the Bible for a week. If I can be attached to technology as much as I have been, I think I can spend time with Him as well.

In case you ever wondered...

2010-10-18T21:16:00.000-07:00

Where sugar beets come from.

Round here, they are plentiful.

They grow in the ground and are harvested about this time of year.

Then they're piled high and wait to be processed.

The sugar beet processing stench is one you'll never forget.

Just like when you go to the dentist and they drill on your tooth to put a filling in.

Yeah, kind of like that.

You can't get the smell out of your nose no matter how hard you try.

Sugar is yummy.

It's just amazing that some guy decided it would be a good idea to use this to make sweet delicious goodies..sweet.

And now you know...where your sugar comes from.

Quotes

2010-10-16T09:38:00.000-07:00

These are the quotes I have featured on this blog in one nice little post. enjoy!

"I am not what happened to me, I am what I have chosen to become." -Unknown

"The times in my life when I have been the most happy haven't been the times when I've had the most money or the most freedom or the most anything, but rather when I've been in love or in community or right with people." -Donald Miller, Searching For God Knows What

"Love is what makes two people sit in the middle of a bench when there is plenty of room at both ends." -Anonymous

"We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face...we must do that which we think we cannot." -Eleanor Roosevelt

"God doesn't require that we succeed; He only requires that we try." -Mother Teresa

"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me...Anything can happen, child. Anything can be" -Shel Silverstein

"All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

drip drop

2010-10-13T09:40:00.000-07:00

The rain was falling.

The skies were overcast.

It looked like the end was near.

We decided to spend our final moments....

Playing Millennium Monopoly.

Boys are sore losers.

Just because I had 12 hotels and you declared bankruptcy,

doesn't mean you have to throw your sports car piece across the room

and throw a tantrum like a 2 year old.

My friend lost at Monopoly and Yogart

two days in a row

...poor guy.

Here's to Monday

2010-10-11T07:19:00.000-07:00

i went tailgating this weekend.

man was it fun.

we had food.

and friends.

and yummy things to drink...

mmmmmm....

and our team won.

i roadtripped with a friend for 2 hours to get to the tailgate.

and he picked the most amazing music.

imogen heap.

vampire weekend.

bright eyes.

good roadtripping sounds.

we played a game.

a game called yogart.

(it's named yogart, not yogurt because my friend can't spell very good)

(he might need to go to the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good)

maybe they could teach him how to spell?

anyway, back to the game

the point is to shout yogart! when you see a yellow car/truck

it can't be a school bus, taxi, penske truck or construction equipment

and can't be in a car lot

the majority of the vehicle has to be yellow

we use the 25/75 rule

75% has to be yellow

semi truck cabs count (i'm good at spotting those)

we've made up our own house rules

like, you can call yogart! but you have to prove it.

the real point of the game is to get 5 yogarts in a row

if someone else gets a yogart your count goes back to zero

their count is at one

seems easy, but it's kind of hard

and i beat my friend at this game two times

which means i'm two times better than him

that's ok with me

back to our music selection

he listened to a new song he'd never heard before

i'd heard it cause i'm cool like that

hide and seek by imogen heap

check it out

you wont be sorry

we sang it over and over and over

and then we sang it again

good trip

in your arms

2010-10-04T06:30:00.000-07:00

Today is this kind of day.

sjioudhiocmeogmzhouwazgou

with this kind of song.

But, to make it all worthwhile.

I know I am healthy, have a great family, have an opportunity for education, have a job, am happy and have so many other great things that are in my life that I don't even see as blessings. A boy I went to school with passed away yesterday. He was diagnosed with Leukemia at age 17 and put up one amazing fight. I didn't know him personally but it always hits home to know that life is very precious. My prayers and thoughts are with his family. So hold your loved ones close, count your blessings and have a great week.

Gangsta Girl

2010-09-29T09:12:00.000-07:00

It's Gangsta day at my sister's school. This is what she decided to go with for an outfit. I love the rings...look closely, they double as a snack for later.

Motivating Monday

2010-09-27T07:48:00.000-07:00

I went to the waterpark in Denver this summer. While I was there I saw two things that inspired me. The first was three women who looked very alike. They were wearing polos and long skirts and flip flops. This seems to be odd attire for a water park. We went on our merry way and met up with them again at the waterslides. They were wearing the polos and ankle skirts in the water! At this point I assumed that they were adhering to their religious beliefs. The cool part about it was that they were being extremely modest and still having a great time. I thought this was so cool because they weren't adhering to the newest fashion trends and they were still enjoying themselves. Probably having an even better time than the people who obsess about what they're wearing all the time.

Another thing that inspired me was a man standing in line waiting to go on the waterslides. (a lot happened at the waterslides). He had a large tattoo on his back and it said, "I am not what has happened to me, I am what I choose to become". I thought it was amazing, amazing! It inspired me even more as well because I have always wanted to be a foster mom. At some point in my life I would want to open my home up to children who need someone to love them and to know they are in a safe and secure home. (this would be a long time down the road, and I wouldn't take this lightly). Who knows if this would ever happen but if it did, I would dedicate a wall in my home where the children could put their handprints there. Above all of the precious imprints would be this quote, "I am not what has happened to me, I am what I choose to become".

Photo Friday

2010-09-24T07:59:00.000-07:00

In light of all the students celebrating Homecoming this week and over the next few weeks I wanted to share a picture with you from my homecoming/spirit week. The day was duo day and this is what we came up with.

We dressed up as M&M's!

Have a Happy Friday (this is a much needed one for me).

P.S. How did you guys like the week? Should any of the days stick? What was your favorite? I need some feedback to keep going.

Thankful Thursday

2010-09-23T06:17:00.000-07:00

After the blog give away I wanted to do this more. I wanted to focus on one thing I am most thankful for. It really is something that I try to do whenever I'm having an off day. Or just need a little pick-me up and to focus on something positive. I volunteer with a high school youth group and last night another volunteer and I got into a pretty deep conversation about how we seem like saints to these kids. It's pretty standard for high school kids to idolize older people because you "think" they must be perfect. Well, he's like...by no means am I perfect. He's like, I've made a lot of mistakes. It's important for these kids to know this too, they need to know that we are who we are, imperfections and all. It was such an enlightening discussion and made me think more and more about the images we portray. This is what I am most thankful for today, I am most thankful that I have made positive decisions in my life and can be a role model to others. When I went to youth group, we had one role model, the leader. It's good for girls to have male role models but now there are female role models in the youth room as well. I was just so happy about this conversation and realized that even though we seem to do something so small, we really make a large impact on these students. I am so thankful that I can be a part of this and have such great friends to volunteer with.

If you would like, please take a second to think about the good in your life. What are you most thankful for?

Wacky Wednesday

2010-09-22T06:17:00.000-07:00

is today!

Something that I read recently made me want to share it with you.

The local newspaper published this headline.

"Drought committee cancels meeting due to rain".

Definitely some Jay Leno material

Tuesday Tales

2010-09-21T07:21:00.000-07:00

Will be debuting on my blog today. Are you catching a theme? Tuesday Tales will discuss books/literature I have read recently and wanted to give a little bit of a description of. This book I read after a suggestion from another friend and I loved it. LOVED IT!

A Heart Breaking Work of Staggering Genius

by Dave Eggers

The beginning of this novel starts like this, "This was unnecessary". I was already captivated. Dave goes on to explain his current life situation. His parents have passed away and between him, his sister and older brother they have to decide who will take care of their 8 year-old little brother. He gets picked to be his primary care giver and doesn't know a thing about raising a kid. So, he does his best and writes a hilarious narrative of his life the way it was handed to him. My favorite part is that he includes drawings and pictures to show what he's talking about. The best picture are the sock sliding diagrams. It's a must read.

One other thing I forgot to share with you was my answers to the giveaway.

What was the worst part of your day?

The worst part of my day yesterday was that I left my Palm at someone's house and will be without it for a week.

What was the best part of your day?

My friend and I were in the library last night and he went to go take a drink of his vitamin water and spilled it all over his pants and it looked like he peed his pants. I started laughing...and laughing...and then laugh/crying. It was a much needed study interruption.

What are you most thankful for today?

For heat in my house. The furnace went out over the weekend and it was 59 degrees in the house. I am thankful that I have heat and that it was fixed.

Stay tuned for Wednesday!

Drumroll please

2010-09-20T07:51:00.000-07:00

The cool kid who entered my blog give away and won is

DRUMROLL?

Rachel at LIFE.

Although you should check out her other blog.

NAILPARTAY

They're both fabulous!

Congratulations!

Also on the agenda is to finish the Cops and Coffee story.

My friend went back to the scene of the crime and checked it out to see if there were any cop cars. Sadly they had all left. There was no story in the paper either. But, I have super sleuthing skills and can see who gets booked into the county jail overnight. There was one person booked for obstructing a peace officer, eluding the authorities, operating a vehicle without liability insurance and a parole violation. So that was the story. Nothing too exciting...not gonna make the next COPS episode.

I decided to try something new on my blog.

I am announcing Motivating Monday today.

Motivating Monday will include quotes, scripture, thoughts I find wonderful, and stories that just lift you up.

And since there's been a lot that's happened here today I thought I would leave you with this

"The times in my life when I have been the most happy haven’t been the times when I’ve had the most money or the most freedom or the most anything, but rather when I’ve been in love or in community or right with people."
~ Donald Miller, Searching For God Knows What

I picked this book up last night and am a fan so far. Happy Monday!

I think I

2010-09-16T19:36:00.000-07:00

Burned the Brownies.

Sad day.

You know what would make me happy though?

If you entered the giveaway HERE.

Your responses will brighten my night.

Even though the sun's sleeping.

It will still be bright.

Alright...back to studying.

My brain's a little fried

Kinda like the brownies.

the end

School days

2010-09-15T06:46:00.000-07:00

My school days started last week.

I haven't wanted to get back in the groove of school.

Well, it caught up to me today.

So I will be studying my little hiney off for the next few days.

And this is all I've got for today.

"Never let school interfere with education." -Twain

and....enter the giveaway here.

Happy Wednesday!

Cops and Coffee

2010-09-14T07:12:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to coffee with some friends for a planning session. *that was the boring part* but as we were leaving a cop comes into the coffee shop with his flashlight and looking like he's on a mission. He looks around at all the coffee drinkers and then talks to the baristas and then leaves. He then proceeds to go into the liquor store right next to the coffee shop. After he came out he books it across the parking lot into the residential area and is running between houses. Then we notice that there are two cop cars parked at Subway which is right next to the liquor store which is right next to the coffee shop. So now we're all curious as to what's going down. So we talk in the parking lot for a while and are kind of waiting for this cop to come back and he never does so we decide to go back to my house which is two blocks away from where all this happened. As we're driving away, we see two more cop cars parked on a main street and an officer is directing traffic/looking into cars for someone. He waves us through and then we look down another street and there are two more cop cars and more cops scouting out an area. So in a 1 block radius there were 6 cops. It was a little nerve wracking and while we were at my house my friend and I are thinking up stories about a killer on the loose and what not. Our tales were big and we were having fun. Well, then we decide to turn on the tv and kind of let our guard down and stopped paying attention to what was going on outside. My roommate then came home from work and we didn't hear her close her car doors or walk up the driveway. Then she slinks up the stairs which are parallel with the picture window so all I saw was her head slowly moving while she was coming up the stairs. I let out a gasp (a rather loud one at that) and my friend jumps back and looks over because he saw the expression on my face. Scares the crap out of both of us. The part that makes me laugh and want to share this story with you was that he said, had I screamed, he probably would have passed out because he was so scared about all the stories we were making up.

Moral of the story:

Don't give Penny caffeine after 7pm....she thinks up crazy scenarios

Make sure to enter the giveaway here it ends on Sunday.

It's done / Giveaway #2

2010-09-13T15:06:00.000-07:00

I'm happy.

It's done!

What you may ask?

My blog revamping.

I'm finally satisfied with this layout.

It's from A Blog to Brag About.

I think it's the bees knees.

And...as promised.

I will be hosting a give away.

To thank all of you through the ups and downs of my blog makeover.

I will be sending the lucky winner a book.

A wonderful book titled Happiness Sold Separately by Lolly Winston.

I enjoyed it and hope you will too!

Now for the rules/guidelines.
You have to live in the U.S. sorry...shipping funds are low.
Leave me a comment with the following.
1) the worst part of your day today.
2) the best part of your day today.
3) and what you are most thankful for about today.

When I share the winner of the giveaway I'll share my responses too!

For an additional entry talk about me on your blog and send me a comment with a link to your post. I want to see your lovely blogs too!

I'll end the giveaway on Sunday, September 19th and will announce the winner on Monday, September 20th.

Blog changes

2010-09-06T07:54:00.000-07:00

This week, more so today, my blog is going to undergo some changes. I'm in such a hum drum mood and it's Labor Day and raining, so I thought it was time to revamp my blog. I think it's looking kind of boring. So hang in there with me and once all the changes have been made I'll be announcing my next blog give away. Stay tuned!

2010-09-02T20:29:00.000-07:00

"Love is what makes two people sit in the middle of a bench when there is plenty of room at both ends." -Anonymous

I'm on fire!

2010-08-30T22:04:00.000-07:00

ok, so not literally. I'm just on fire for my faith and for the new and exciting changes going on. Some good positive changes. I know I was torn between what to do income wise and I figured it out. A friend of mine and his wife gave my phone number out last week to a bunch of their friends for babysitting. I love to babysit and was happy to know that they were giving my phone number out. So, I received a phone call to babysit this last Saturday night. I had so much fun we played Legos and watched Tinkerbelle. Then I got another call from another friend of theirs who needed someone to babysit their 6 month old. In my mind I kept feeling like this is the place I was being called to be. That this what was I needed to do. I felt that God was directing me where to go. I let my options sit with me for a day and today I made my decision. It was like they created a monster and I just had to do something to change the way things are going. There have been listings on a career website at my school for after school from 2:15-5:15. I sent my resume and availability to three people and within 5 minutes one lady got back to me and wanted to know if I was available to talk with her tonight. She called and said that she wanted someone to take care of her 6 and 9 year old boys three days a week. Her original listing had said 5 but I was still listening. She said that because I was going to rely on this as my sole income while going to school she was willing to make a deal. The deal is that the boys' dad (they're divorced) comes into town 2-3 weeks at a time and is out of town 2-3 weeks at a time. He works on oil rigs and his schedule changes with about 24 hours notice. So I could potentially be working when he is "scheduled" to be home and take the boys. But, the benefit is that I am making money even when I am not working. She will pay me weekly regardless. The cool part about all this is she doesn't need me until September 15th to start. This gives me time to put in my two weeks notice. I think there was some Divine intervention here. The next really cool part is that I have picked up two new clients for babysitting and by quitting my job I can be more available to babysit now.This brings my tally of current clients to 6. I think this is going to work out well.

The other part that is awesome about this whole situation is I'm happy. I am sincerely happy. This lets me go see my boyfriend who is in another town for school more and have time to do homework. I started thinking about all of this on my drive home and I was belting out the "King of Anything" song and just started crying. I never cry and here I was just like a water show. I couldn't stop it for a second there. And then i realized why I was crying...all of my stress will be over, I'll get to see my bf, I'll get to do things I like to do such as volunteering and have time for homework and friends and still make the same amount as I would at my current job. I AM HAPPY! They were sincere tears of joy streaming down my face and it was weird but also comforting because I know the Big Guy upstairs is taking care of me and this time I listened.

Thank you all for commenting on my last post. I needed the encouragement. Stay tuned for another blog surprise. My number of admirers is growing and I think it could be getting close to adding a reward for being an admirer with a giveaway!

I feel like the answer is staring me in the face

2010-08-29T12:55:00.000-07:00

but I need some confirmation. Let me explain the situation. I work at a retail job right now and have since June. I applied for jobs because I was bored during my last semester of school and needed something I could carry on with during my next semester. I was previously employed through various babysitting jobs and really enjoyed it but for some reason, my sitting jobs dried up and no one was calling me. So I got this job. This job has put me through the ringer. I applied for the sales associate/food department head position. The manager said she would look into the food position for me. 2 weeks goes by, I finally call her and she's like, "oh yeah...I want to hire you". I was happy about this. Go to the first store meeting and then get my schedule. I was hired as an associate. But had a stock schedule. So I worked my 4ams and put up with it and have been looking for a new job since. This week I get my schedule and I'm scheduled 5 hours! only 5 hours! She hired 3 new people...they're all scheduled 30+hours. I was a little upset but didn't let it get to me because I'm over this job.

The blessings that have come out of only being scheduled 5 hours have been huge. I love to babysit. And a church friend who I volunteer under and his wife had a bbq and they got on the topic of babysitters. I've had two phone calls this week of people needing me to babysit and wanting to meet me to be able to care for their children. I babysat for 8hours last night and made $70 and fell asleep on the couch. I keep wondering if this is the place I need to be. If this is what I should be doing during school instead of working at this other job that I only get a schedule the week before from and haven't been treated with much respect and concern. The other thing that keeps going through my mind is when I knew I should have quit nursing school and gone onto business. I kept fighting it. I kept trying to go where I thought I wanted to go, not where I needed to. So, I'm trying to figure out what I should be doing.

Another option is to work for a little market shop a few blocks from my house 4 days a week and Saturdays during the day. I would work from 1-6pm and still be able to babysit M-F and then be able to babysit after 3pm on Saturday and all day Sunday. These ideas keep rolling around in my head and I'm trying to figure out what to do.

What seems like the best option?

picture story

2010-08-24T20:40:00.000-07:00

Do you ever?

2010-08-20T21:34:00.000-07:00

feel like your creativity is escaping you. As if, for some reason, it disappeared? Like you had and then you lost it? I've been feeling like that lately. I felt like I used to have all these great ideas but now they're some where else. I guess I've been doing a lot of thinking about how my life has gone and where I am now as compared to where I was a year ago. One year ago, I was "officially" starting nursing school. Now I am beginning my first of two more years in Business, I have a job, a roommate who actually talks to me, a really nice house to live in and I finally feel like things are remotely under control in my life. It's a good feeling. I've noticed that my stamina and energy levels are much higher than they were last year too. Which is really nice.

One thing I really wanted to talk about and bring up here was an idea I have. This is something I've been thinking about more and more and I want to start from the beginning of what prompted this discussion. I work with a woman who is really quiet and I kind of noticed that she needed to be (not told) but empowered to do something. We stock shelves at work and if she doesn't know the exact place to put something she seems like she doesn't feel ok with fitting it in with other products in the store. She makes sure it's ok everytime. This is fine but very different from the way I do things. I just do them as long as I think it won't look goofy. Well, a week ago we took our break together and hadn't seen each other for a while and she told me that the week before she and her husband separated. I told her I thought it was a good thing that she did something for herself. She said that she felt good not being in their home and having time apart from each other. She doesn't want to get into a cycle of separating and getting back together so they're going to do this until November 1st just so they know for sure what they want to do. I didn't feel like this was a big deal. I don't agree/believe couples should get married and then become separated or divorced, but to be realistic...it happens. Well, I am quite the facebook creeper and decided to see if I could learn more about some people in my life. I looked up her name and found out that she is very religious. Which, now makes sense to me why she does/doesn't do some things. In her religion as in quite a few, a man is the one who leads the family unit. This now makes more sense as to why she kind of waited for instruction and didn't make a lot of decisions that could make an impact. After making this discovery, I am anxious to know how she and her husband are doing during their separation as well as their children now that I know this must be making a huge impact on their lives as a whole.

This whole revelation makes me think that there needs to be a way for women to empower each other. This woman that I work with has probably made the best/biggest decision in her life and this may be the first time she has actually believed in herself enough to what is best for her at this time. I don't think that this is in anyway selfish either, I think that for her to be able to help others/her children/husband she has to help herself first. I want to be able at some point in my life to help other women come to this revelation sooner. To be able to give some form of motivation and empowerment. My mom and I were discussing this idea and thought it would be great to enact and figure out a way to let women know that everything they may have been told by some other person male or female that they CAN'T do is possible. What I am asking you reading this is what more could be done? How could this be enacted to help as many women as possible? What are your ideas?

2010-08-18T20:58:00.000-07:00

interview. starbucks. tomorrow. 4 pm. wish me luck!

Penny is...

2010-08-11T19:38:00.000-07:00

Going to Denver tomorrow to see a Rockies game and go to the water park. I'm pretty excited and will be back Sunday with some pictures and stories. My boyfriend, sister and her boyfriend are road tripping it together. Should be fun, but we might be on the path to kill each other before it's all done and over. What are your weekend plans?

how things just work themselves out sometimes

2010-08-10T19:53:00.000-07:00

While I was working today, a girl I graduated from high school with came into the store. We weren't really friends but we could definitely talk about anything. I rang up all her things and we got to talking about work. She said this was her only day off this week and I asked where she worked. Coincidence...the Starbucks that I want to work at. She was excited that I told her I applied and was going to see what she could do to move the application process along. I had butterflies fluttering in my stomach. I'm definitely optimistic about this job now and hopeful as well. She said that they haven't hired anyone for 2 years which is a good indicator for me that employee turnover is pretty low.

The other thing that I thought would be really cool is if everyone that does read this blog were one day able to get together in a little coffee shop somewhere and discuss ideas. I just thought that would be so awesome (pretty unrealistic) but awesome. My guess is that we would all get along or be able to agree to disagree on certain things but that we would bring such energy and excitement to each other's lives. Then, after that we would all go on a road trip to no where and have the best time.

I'm out of things to talk about

2010-08-10T08:33:00.000-07:00

So, I'm gonna write whatever. I do enjoy coffee...a lot. I'm drinking some Folgers half-caff with International Delight Caramel Macchiato creamer...yum. I bought new asics last night. Our adventure was kind of fun. First we went to Sports Authority where I found the Gel 1150's for $75. I bought them. Then we went to Scheel's and I saw their prices were $15 less than what I just paid. So I had a plan. Went back to Sports Authority asked if they price match. Got my $15 back. Good story. I try to save as much as I can when I can. I say that was a WIN!

I have to work today at 11am. Not exactly looking forward to it. So, that's why I'm still job hunting. My mom does real estate (this is relevant to job hunting) and was helping a couple figure out if they could buy the home that they are currently renting. The homeowner was planning on selling it and the couple has lived there for 8 years and didn't really want to move. So my mom was helping them and it turns out that the couple's credit score was too bad for them to be able to purchase. During this whole time the guy kept telling my mom if she needed anything just to let him know. He manages a hotel here in town and offered our family a free night to stay to just hang out and have fun. My mom said no to that but did say that I was looking for a job. He said he would see what he could do but to go and fill out an application and put a sticky note with his name on it so he'd get it. The cool part is that the job open is for Starbucks. I've always always wanted to be a barista. I think I would enjoy it and it would be fun. So we'll see.

I got an iHome the other day and am really happy about it as well because I used to listen to music all the time but since moving to this house I haven't. But, now I can and it will most likely keep me in my room doing homework longer. Yesterday I was introduced to a new song that I absolutely fell in love with. It's called "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri. The reason I love it is the lyrics "And who do you think you are/Running around leaving scars/Collecting your jar of hearts/ And tearing love apart/ You're gonna catch a cold/ From the ice inside your soul/ So don't come back for me/ Who do you think you are". Go check it out for yourself. I highly recommend it.

the way we are

2010-08-06T21:32:00.000-07:00

when it comes to love.

while i was at camp, the priest said something that made me think more about love and its real effect. he said, "people that feel unloved do crazy things". he specifically was talking about things in our society that we deem as "problems" such as drug addictions, using sex as a means of receiving attention not as the unity of two individuals, lashing out, teens doing things to get attention. he mentioned specifically girls allowing boys to do whatever because they "say" they love them. and boys doing whatever they think they need to do with a girl to be "cool". i was really taken off balance by what fr. said. i guess i never thought about why individuals exhibit the behavior they do. the other part that makes me think more too, is that he said when they don't feel loved. not that they aren't, but that they don't feel it. this was so shocking and it made me resort to one of my favorite tv shows. world's strictest parents where two unruly teens go to live with a family that sets some rules and boundaries for the teens to follow. well one particular episode showed a teen boy who had ear plugs that were probably 2inches across in his ears and the new dad for the week said, i am not shocked by them at all. he realized it was just a wall the teen was putting up from the forefront so no one would bother him and the new dad said, i'm gonna love you anyway and teach you everything that i know about life in one week. it really showed me that when individuals act out or when they put up those walls, there's a lot of hurt deep down that they keep trying to cover up when really they need to feel loved.

the crazy part of writing this post came when i really started to listen to the music playing. i've got a lot of music that i've never heard before that is still labeled track 1-20.
but this is the song that was on....Your Love is Strong-Jon Foreman

Your Love is Strong-Jon Foreman

Heavenly Father, you always amaze me
Let your kingdom come in my world and in my life
Give me the food I need to live through today
And forgive me as I forgive the people that wrong me
Lead me far from temptation
Deliver me from the evil one

I look out the window the birds are composing
Not a note is out of tune or out of place
I walk to the meadow and stare at the flowers
Better dressed than any girl on her wedding day

So why do I worry?
Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need

Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong
Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong
Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

The kingdom of the heavens is now advancing
Invade my heart, invade this broken town
The kingdom of the Heavens is buried treasure
Would you sell yourself to buy the one you've found?

Two things you told me
That you are strong
And you love me
Yes, you love me

Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong
Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong
Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong
Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

Our God in Heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Above all names
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us today our daily bread
Forgive us weary sinners
Keep us far away from our vices
And deliver us from these prisons

2010-08-03T17:59:00.000-07:00

“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.”

-Eleanor Roosevelt

(read it outloud to yourself)

Camp

2010-08-01T21:58:00.000-07:00

God doesn’t require that we succeed; He only requires that we try. –Mother Teresa

As I said previously, I did go to church camp this week and had so much fun. I really grew in my faith and have a better understanding of God and my beliefs. I really like this quote by Mother Teresa because I feel that it portrays some of what being a volunteer and camp counselor entails. Some of the campers come from very torn and broken situations and camp is a good release and escape from the real world. This camp doesn't allow any technology...so, some of the campers (with myself included) feel kind of lost. But, this escape from the real world, their real situations only lasts 6 days. You might be surprised what can happen in 6 days. It's like these kids recharge their batteries and can face their current lives with a knowing that Jesus is on their side. I just think it's so powerful. But, back to Mother Teresa. In our morning meetings we talk about any camper concerns we have. We did have one camper who we felt was having a really hard time at camp and we didn't know what to do to make her have a better time and enjoy herself. So, we were at a blank and the camp director said that it was up to us how we individually wanted to approach her, talk to her, involve her etc., but all the director wanted us to do was to do everything with love. Which made me remember that whatever we wanted to do like, make her the happiest person ever may not be what will happen, but atleast we tried to do whatever we set out to do with love. The really cool part was that she told me the last day, in which we have a dance, that she didn't dance. Well, by the end of the dance she was dancing and it was so cool to see that she finally was able to let go of whatever she was going through and just have a good time.

The other really cool thing that happened at camp was a session on Theology of the Body. It helped me understand one big topic on my mind. Sex. I have always had questions on why Catholics believe that sex should be saved for marriage. Well in this quick version of the Theology of the Body discussion, we were told that in the covenant of marriage sex is reserved for couples who can, 1. give themselves Freely, 2. Fully, 3. Faithfully, 4. and that they agree to be Fruitful. This really cleared up the questions I had because I don't feel I would be able to give myself entirely to someone with out being free to do so, fully and completely and to commit to be faithful to that person. I don't know what your beliefs are but this was such a relief to have more of an understanding.

The last thing that really struck me was how empowering high school girls can be to each other when all the walls are broken down and we can be ourselves around each other. At camp, you're not required to look cute, do your hair or even wear mascara. We just are so happy you're there, and the girls get this. They're excited to be who they are completely. The best part was when we split of into guys and girls and the girls got into groups of about 8 and just talked about issues they had with high school, dating, and anything else. The cool part was one of the questions a girl had was, "My boyfriend wants to have sex, I don't want to. How do I say no?". We didn't have a good answer to this other than the obvious of just empowering her to be able to say no and not give in if this is something she feels so strongly about. The awesome part was that the other campers gave her suggestions on how to do this in a way to keep her interests in mind. Like, if he is pushing for it, why is he doing that? is it to use you or does he really care for you? He'll respect you if you say no, and if he doesn't then he's not worth your time. But the cool part was these were girls from different cliques in the same school all on the same page. Another question was about, I broke up with my boyfriend but I still like him. What do I do? These are real issues and the girls all empowered each other in such a positive way that I was so proud to be a woman building each other up instead of tearing each other down.

I had a great time at camp and was so happy to be there.

Be back soon

2010-07-30T23:00:00.000-07:00

In all the frazzled events of my life. I forgot to let you all know I went to church camp as a volunteer for a week and didn't have enough time to sit here and let you know. I'm am sorry and am also so happy to know that I was missed. I'll let you know about it soon...but first, sleep.

Brownie Batter....

2010-07-19T21:58:00.000-07:00

Or any other kind of batter for that matter (ha, I rhymed!).
I really wanna know. When you eat the left over batter do you....

I really really wanna know.
I'm using a whisk right now. It's thoroughly entertaining to try and catch the drops of batter. But, I grabbed a spoon just in case, and then will resort to using my fingers. Yum!

More thoughts....

2010-07-16T13:03:00.000-07:00

1. The Count of Monte Cristo is by far one of my favorite movies.

2. Lately, I've been wanting to ask people if they want something. But, not just ask...I want to say "You guys want some (whatever I think they might want)". The bad part is, I want to ask them like Corky Romano...."You guys wanna buy some cookies".

3. Atleast I don't burst out saying...question...ya do, ya don't, ya do, ya don't.....I SHOULD BUY A BOAT!

4. Joshua Radin is totally rockin my computer right now.

5. The place I work sells Razzles...like in the movie 13 going on 30.

6. I fall asleep listening to Beethoven in hopes that I'll be smarter when I wake up.

7. I really feel like grabbing my ipod, gassing up my car and driving...just driving like I'm on an adventure in a fairytale. But then, Taylor Swift's song lyrics come to mind, "I'm not a princess This ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet Lead her up the stairwell This ain't Hollywood,
This is a small town I was a dreamer before you went and let me down Now its too late for you and your White Horse, To come around." And all my hopes and dreams are shot down. But, I saved $ on gas!

8. My friend and I were at the bank drive through and he was pondering the thought of putting bees in the tubes and sending it into the bank. I told him that I would help him plan his shenanigans, but will not partake in them. The thought of it made me laugh though.

9. Being honest on this blog is one of my favorite things. I can be totally myself without any filters and it's so liberating.

10. Harry Potter marathons on ABC family make me so happy...I will watch them all!

And the Winner Is.....

2010-07-15T16:23:00.000-07:00

Lacey at Southern in the City

(Her Blog is really cute by the way)

She was entry number 25 (which according to random.org was the winning number).

So Congratulations to Lacey and I thank all of you for following.

Cute Quote

2010-07-14T05:55:00.000-07:00

Love is what makes two people sit in the middle of a bench when there is plenty of room at both ends. -Anonymous

Enter the contest here. It ends tonight!

Breakdown of B-E-A-U-T-Y

2010-07-12T14:51:00.000-07:00

I spent some of my day doing this.

Why you ask?

Keep reading.

I went shopping today.

Like a lot of shopping.

I didn't have any capris for the hot weather.

So, I went to Kohl's and found a lot of good deals.

So I kept shopping.

My rule for myself is to grab everything in the store I think I would like to wear but the catch is, it has to be on sale already. Whether it's a big sale or not that doesn't matter. So I found 7 pairs of capris, 2 pairs of shoes, and a pair of sunglasses for $102.53.

Beat that!

it was awesome, but the point of this post was not to tell you about my great shopping day.

But, to tell you about the woman in the dressing room.

I spent quite a long time in there because I had half the store in my shopping cart.

Well, she came in and told her daughter not to come in after her.

I'm guessing her daughter was only 7 or 8.

She wanted to go in the dressing room with her mom.

But her mom said, "No honey don't come in here. I'm trying on clothes and I just hate myself."

It almost ~~broke~~ my heart.

The first thing that went through my mind was that she is not happy, but the second thing that zoomed through was, "what is she teaching her daughter about herself and body image?"

This was a moment in which I didn't think a simple sticky note would do and I didn't know if I should say something or keep my mouth shut. Well, I did keep my mouth shut and didn't know what to do but I wanted to take this story and share it with all of you and remind you all that we are BEAUTIFUL. Please, no matter what remember that and pass it on to your girls.

So I made approximately 60 post it notes and am ready to mount my no fat talk attack. So watch out, you could be my next victim of honesty. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

www.operationbeautiful.com

If you enter the contest here, your package may contain an honest note as well!

2010-07-12T08:25:00.000-07:00

I tried this today.Mo's Bacon Bar.

It was quite yummy actually.
I tried the milk chocolate and the dark chocolate.

I liked the dark chocolate best.

What do you think?

Too out there for you or just right?

Please Enter my eat pray love contest

here if you haven't already.

Sunday Secrets

2010-07-11T05:28:00.000-07:00

http://www.postsecret.com/

This is by far one of the best parts of my week. I hope you enjoy.
I've sent 3 secrets in so far. Have you sent any?

Don't forget to enter the contest here. It's open until Wednesday.

Contest Rules and my crooked pinky pictures

2010-07-10T09:16:00.000-07:00

So, the long awaited pictures are finally here but first...a contest is in order.

The rules are easy.
1) be a follower.
2) leave me a comment about your favorite book and why you like it. I'm always looking for a great read.

Start leaving your comments and this contest will end Wednesday. The winner will be announced on Thursday.

What's up for grabs you ask?

If you figured out my hint from the last post, you would know that this give away will be eat pray love themed. So, I will be including Elizabeth Gilbert's book eat, pray, love.

This giveaway will also feature some food (eat), candles (pray), and something I find lovely (love). I know, I'm a dork! So please enter the contest and stay tuned for the other items I grab for your enjoyment.

And now........

Thanks for following!

Thank You, Thank you, thank you & a contest!

2010-07-09T13:39:00.001-07:00

100 followers! So exciting, totally made my day. I will be posting my crooked pinkies picture shortly. I have to wait for one of my friends to help me take the picture because I just can't plan it in my head to do it myself...without both my hands to take the pic.

But, on a side note...I would like to announce that I will also be opening a contest on my blog starting tomorrow. I'm still working out the details and will post them tomorrow along with the items up for grabs. I can tell you though, it will follow this theme........... _ a _, _ r _ _ , _ _ v _. I'll bet you can figure it out. Stay tuned and thank all of you for following me!

Hi, My name is Joe

2010-07-08T10:21:00.000-07:00

Back in the day, when I was still in nursing school we were required to go to an AA meeting. I had extremely mixed feelings about this. I thought the experience for me would be greatand critical for nursing. But, at the same time, I felt like I was intruding on someone'spersonal space and that I wouldn't be on the same level of understanding. I was extremely nervous before going to the meeting. There were some chairs set aside for non Alcoholics to sit and watch, which I thought was weird. But, I was also happy that I was greeted so graciously and one of the members asked if I needed a slip signed saying I had been there. This person made me feel at ease which helped. The meeting then proceeded and all the people shared something about their alcohol filled past. What happens at AA stays at AA so won't be sharing any of their stories, but I will say they were touching.

It makes me think twice about how much I should really drink in a night and the safety of getting myself home. This was one lesson I learned. Another, that Alcoholism doesn't have a preference of who it will affect. The most interesting part of what I observed was how kind these individuals were to each other. There was no judgment, only hellos and how are yous. It was such an inviting environment in which these people really do care about how the other members do with their alcohol addictions on a daily basis. If they slip up, if they really just want a beer or whatever. But, there is no judgment, no I told you so's, just encouragement to make your own choices and succeed with staying sober daily.

I guess my point is, I think the world should run like an AA meeting. With understanding, encouragement and fellowship. Hi, I'm Joe and I'm an alcholic. (group) HiJoe. If we all responded like this, I think there would be a change in the world. Maybe a small one, but a good change.

Random Ramblings

2010-07-07T12:46:00.000-07:00

1. I saw some guys I went to high school with that were a few years older than me and very popular. They were with the in crowd and as gorgeous as could be. But, the funny thing is, i saw them together, in walmart buying pampers and formula. All I could imagine was how cool they were back then and now they're changing diapers and getting yelled at by girlfriends because the rent's late.

2. I went to my boyfriend's Grandma's house and noticed that all the pictures on the wall were either crooked or not hung in a straight line on the wall vertically.It kind of bothered me but I thought it was cute. It wasn't until we were on our way back through town that all the grandkids were together without grandma that one of the granddaughters said...I have to fix these pictures. Probably a you-had-to-be-there moment but I'm sure everyone has a grandma story like this.

3. I would really like to hear the North Dakota jokes that some of you have.

4. Taking a break from the computer, TV and phone for 5 days is really liberating.

5. Coincidentally, I came across a passage in A. J. Jacobs' book "Living Biblically" where he ended up getting locked in his own bathroom alone for 5 hours and was comfortable with the cars whizzing below his apartment and he was stuck in the silence. I kind of felt like I was stuck in the silence too and it was a really great thing.

6. I'm watching a really creepy sham-wow commercial on crack right now.

7. 4 Vodka lemonades in one night may just be too many for me.

8. I found a street called Grand Street. I just thought it was kind of interesting.

9. I played the license plate game over the 4th of July weekend and got 26/50 states and 4 Canadian Provinces.

10. I would like to announce that when I get 100 followers I will post a picture of my crooked pinkies. So start sharing me with your friends.

Versatile Blogger

2010-07-06T08:36:00.000-07:00

Yay! Another award to send on to 15 bloggers. I just get so excited about these!

There are some rules to this award:
1. Thank the person who gave you the award
2. Share seven things about you
3. Nominate 15 newly discovered blogs
4. Let your nominees know about the award!

Thank you Geeky!This is very much appreciated.

So 7 things about me.
1. Salt and Vinegar Kettle chips is where it's at.
2. I think fields of mustard are really pretty.
3. I would call myself Christian but I don't like Christian music and for some reason I keep relating that to a line in one of the Killers songs, "I've got soul but I'm not a soldier".
4. I love swings...so, so, so much!
5. Coloring is a close first to swings.
6. I read in A.J. Jacobs' book "Living Biblically" that the Bible states to give someone who is depressed wine. I'll be "depressed" all the time if you come over and bring me a bottle of wine.
7. My boyfriend's Grandma's caramels are so good...I've already had 3!

15 blogs
1. Freckle On The Nose
2. Mommy of a Jamexican
3. My Uncensored Vegas Life
4. Antika Moda
5. The Guillaume Family
6. I'll Be Brief
7. Uberly Ecstatic
8. Adorkable Annie
9. it walked on my pillow dot blogspot dot com
10. Josiah's Nest
11. Thirty eight 20
12. The mom
13. A splendid little life
14. Life After Convocation
15. It's on my to-do list

I really love all of these blogs. When I was gone for 5 days I had to come back and catch up on all of them. They are especially deserving of this award.

A glance back and a small glimpse at what may come

2010-07-05T20:09:00.001-07:00

Do you ever feel so inspired sometimes? and then in the next 20 minutes...it's gone? It's been happening to me more and more lately. Like, I'll get really excited about something and have a GREAT idea....then it's gone. One of the things I really have been inspired to write about is where this last year has taken me. There was a point in my life 6 months ago that prompted me to take a 180 degree turn and do something different. You can read about it here as it was the turning point in my life to make me start blogging. I'd wanted to blog for a long time and the experience I was going through forced me to do something about it.

I want to look back on those 6 months and now. I went from nursing school to business school and the change of pace was radically different. Nursing school was physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausting. There wasn't a night that I laid my head down at night and stayed awake more than 15 minutes. Business school gives me so much free time. 1 project only takes but a few hours and you're done with 40% of your grade. Another difference, nursing school tells you not to work but in business, you're asked daily where you work and how many hours you get a week. One other change is that the work is so much more reasonable. The material is actually taught to you instead of your instructor telling you what to read out of your book.

So, at the 6 month mark, I'm much happier without nursing school. I don't drive around praying to God that He'll let a car hit me so I don't have to go to class. Instead I drive to my retail job where I stock shelves. If I was still in nursing school I probably would be working at a hospital hating every bit of what I'm doing. My job right now isn't what I would want to do forever but atleast it's a start. A start that may end with a lot of school but I'm ok with that. As it stands right now I'll graduate from business school in May 2012. I was snooping around online at found that I can enroll in a joint M.B.A./J.D. program and complete it in 3 years. So, if I did all of this schooling back to back I would graduate in 2015. I would be 26 with a lot of education and really a great asset to a company or law firm involved in healthcare and business. It' just an idea that's been rolling around in my head but these are way different plans than what I was thinking 6 months ago. The best part is, I think I would enjoy everything. Sincerely enjoy going to work everyday.

And, the way it stands as well, the guy I've been dating for 3 years may end up with a job 2.5 hours away from where I could go for my Masters. I told him when we graduated high school that I wouldn't say yes to marriage until we were done with school which would have been May 2011. But, since I changed majors I postponed any big life events by a year. So this means no big wedding could happen until 2012. Which, would give him a year to get a good job that would probably be 3 hours away from wherever I am getting my undergrad or graduate degree. It would be a great plan. Could be a rocky first few years of a marriage, but I don't think anything would be as miserable as nursing school.

going offline

2010-07-01T09:04:00.001-07:00

Just for a few days. I'm going on vacation, to North Dakota...save the jokes. I'll be back soon and am sure I'll have lots to post.

Blog Awards

2010-06-28T10:18:00.000-07:00

Award #1

In one of my previous posts I was fortunate enough to receive my first blog award. I graciously accepted it and passed it along to 6 fellow bloggers I felt were fit for the award. Well, I was short four recipients of the award and lone behold...I have found them! I would like to thank Holley again for sending this award my way.

The four bloggers I have chosen for this award are:
1. Moriah at Josiah's Nest
2. Misty Michelle
3. Emily at a splendid little life
4. Kathryn at This is my story

These are the guidelines to accept this award.
1) make a post about the award, mentioning the person who gave it to you
2) put the award on your blog
3) Give award to 10 sweet bloggers

Award #2

The next blog award I was fortunate to be given is from Kathryn. I am so happy to be able to accept this award. The guidelines to this award are as follows:

1. Thank the person who gave this award to you
2. Copy the award and put it on your blog.
3. List three things which you love about yourself.
4. Post a picture you love.
5. Tag five people you wish to pass this award on to.

1. Thank you Kathryn!
2.
3. a)that I look for the good in every situation. b) I am very patient. c) I have really small crooked pinkies...maybe I'll show you sometime.

4.

5. Kat at Living for His renown
Emily at Thirtyeight20
Holley at Sweet Tea and a Soundtrack
Lisah at It's Him I praise
Annie at Adorkable Annie

If you would like to be considered for future awards please leave a comment and something fun about yourself. I'll make sure to go check out your blog! You see my blog so let me see yours too! Thank you all for reading.

4am

2010-06-25T09:47:00.000-07:00

is when I start working. I got a new job and was hired as a sales associate...but, since no one buys stuff at 4am....I stock it instead. Not really sure why I was hired as sales when I'm clearly stocking shelves. But, I've decided to look at the positive side of things and list the good things about working at 4am.

1. There are no cars on the road when you're driving to work.
2. Sometimes you're so tired you don't remember how you got to work.
3. You're not hungry when you get up at 3:15.
4. None of your co-workers expect you to shower or look presentable.
5. If you want to relieve stress, it is ok to throw boxes and gouge at them with box cutters.
6. You get to listen to Ke$ha, 3Oh3 and anything else you want to on the store's speakers.
7. You can fall asleep at 8pm...no problem.
8. Coffee is readily available.
9. You see how many different foods people eat...vegemite....weird.
10. I like to pretend I'm on Undercover Boss and count the strikes people have and how I would let them know I'm the CEO of the company.....and I'm letting them go.

Have you seen the news?

2010-06-21T07:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a day no one expected. A tornado touched down in my town and destroyed the community event center. The structure is still standing but recovery workers said the building swayed and creaked all night. The governor will be here soon to assess damages and the city will declare a state of emergency. The kicker is...we're in for another round of thunderstorms this afternoon.I was traveling from the Heights where the tornado touched down and beat the bad part of the storm by about 30 mins. I could have easily taken that route during the storm. Definitely giving thanks today. Here's a link to the local newspaper to check out the reports.

It started with a little bit of hail.

Then a tornado came.

Here is a good video of the destruction the tornado caused.

Before the tornado.

Same building after the tornado.

There was an auto glass building here.

Inside the city center. You can see the sky. My town made national news.

Then the flood waters came.

And Billings, MT made google trends top 20 yesterday.

Tornado in my town

2010-06-20T18:11:00.000-07:00

Tornado link. There's raw footage of it on youtube as well. This is the only big event center this city has, and it pretty much is gone. There are some local businesses that seem to be just gone as well. As of right now there are no reports of injuries or deaths. Thank God and hopefully it stays that way.

Beauty

2010-06-19T11:14:00.001-07:00

I came across this blog the other day and was really inspired. Like inspired enough to go out and pick up a ton of sticky notes and keep the message going.

OperationBeautiful.com

2010-06-18T15:55:00.000-07:00

"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be."

-Shel Silverstein

Blog award

2010-06-17T19:57:00.000-07:00

So, until today I didn't know that blog awards existed. I am now the happy recipient of my first blog award from Holley at Sweet Tea and a Soundtrack .

In order to accept my award I have to:
1) make a post about the award, mentioning the person who gave it to you Holley
2) put the award on your blog
3) Give award to 10 sweet bloggers

Annie at Adorkable Annie
Suzy at it walked on my pillow
JV at Life After Convocation
Kristen at life as i know it
Meg at sunshine and cool breezes
Ruth at the mom

I know I'm short four bloggers to give this award to but so far I feel these ladies deserve it. All their blogs make me laugh and think about life in a different way. Stay tuned while I look for 4 more to share this with.

Bucket List

2010-06-16T07:52:00.000-07:00

I've been mulling around on various blogger sites and noticed that sharing your bucket list is the new thing to do. I wanna be like the cool kids so here goes:

1. Go skydiving
2. Go to a third world country
3. Receive a heart shaped locket unexpectedly
4. Fall in love
5. Swim in both the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans
6. Fall asleep under the stars
7. Go on the biggest roller coaster I can find
8. Go to Russia and get a big Russia doll
9. Go to Spain during semana santa (Holy Week)
10. Watch the sunrise from the rims
11. Learn how to drive a stick shift
12. Take the whole day off to go fishing
13. Learn how to shoot a gun
14. Go skinny dipping
15. Drive without a destination in mind
16. Learn to forgive with my whole heart
17. Write a novel to be remembered by
18. Have a Notebook kiss

One to mark off my list:
1. Donate hair to Locks of Love

What could have been

2010-06-15T11:02:00.000-07:00

I lie awake at night sometimes, wondering what my life could have been like. I'm living in the house my great grandmother purchased...on her own in 1951. It's a cute house, with a 50s feel to the neighborhood. The mailman comes everday at the same time to put the mail in the box attached to the house. Kids play on their bikes and can run around the block without any fears. I can watch the neighbors and know what's going on most of the time. I have a flower garden and vegetable garden in the back yard. Part of what I imagine is if I would be married right now, wearing a dress and cooking dinner when my husband comes home? This could have been my life, when this house's paint was fresh. I wonder if I would have been more or less happy than I am now? I think it was a time that is perceived as more beautiful than it was, more dramatic but really, for some women miserable.

Adventures of Mom and Penny

2010-06-11T07:01:00.000-07:00

8am: brrrrr.....brrrrr.....brrrrr.....
8:01....*shut up phone*
8:02....call mom, "I was sleeping"
8:03....I'm coming over with a load of stuff to take to the dump.
8:04....hang up, go back to bed.
8:07...get up and get ready
8:30....on our way to the dump. We go up the windy hill that takes us to the dump and then get to the toll booth. The guy asks, from city or county? City. Mostly wood. ok, pull up to bin one.
Mom takes the trailer up the hill and then attempts to back up to the dumpster. After seventeen million attempts, and numerous guys wondering what we're doing. Mom finally gets us backed up to bin....2 1/2. I get out of the truck and almost puke....the dump smell is so nauseating. We crossed that career opportunity off of the list for me. Then, in my pink gloves (I insist on wearing pink gloves whenever I'm doing man work) we unload the trailer.
9am: coffee....yum.

That was yesterday's adventure. I've had many more adventures like this with my mom. Some of them include going to strange stores in some of the roughest looking neighborhoods in town and then we go inside and it's a nice store with cabinet displays or a plumbing distributor. My mom is a general contractor, builder, and realtor. She really does a lot. She's always on the phone ordering, or negotiating something. Our latest accomplishment was fixing all of my sprinklers at my house. When the sprinklers were put in, the guys (for some reason) didn't make them level with the ground. So, we dug the sprinkler heads up and fixed the pipes and now 8/8 zones work, when we started only 4/8 zones worked!

These are some of the pictures of her houses.

Today's Happenings

2010-06-09T15:55:00.001-07:00

1. It's not everday that you get to build a fort with a six year old. Well, I guess you could everday...but I was pretty psyched to build it.
2. I started a "scary" story out about a family that lived on a lake...and Sammi took over the story and said....Ooooh, I know this one...it's about the sisters who look alike. (The Parent Trap) so, that was her version of a scary story.
3. Both Sammi and Erik took naps today. Cause I'm that good of a babysitter. (I should get a bonus)
4. Airplanes by Hayley Williams and B.o.B. is amazing.
5. I'm at critical levels of Diet Coke in my fridge...not good.
6. I think fortune cookies would be so much better if they put lotto tickets inside. It'd be way better than learning Chinese for "French Fry".
7. Have you ever laughed so hard that boogers came out of your nose. I did last night, in front of the boyfriends family....rather embarrassing.
8. What exactly is Katy Perry talking about when she says "sunkissed skin so hot we'll melt your popsicle"?
9. Sometimes, when I go to church I cry because I'm so moved.
10. I wonder how much information hairdressers know about people in their community? It's more like therapy than a hair appointment.
11. I'm very happy to be able to live in a town where you can wave to a complete stranger and they will wave back.

2010-06-08T07:26:00.000-07:00

"All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

No longer strapped for cash

2010-06-04T14:46:00.000-07:00

I. have. a. job.

second "real" job I've had in my life.

I'm kind of stoked.

Coffee Chronicles

2010-06-03T07:24:00.000-07:00

On the path I have recently chosen to rediscovery, I thought it would be pertinent to share the discovery of the things I don't much like at all.

1. waiting. I've been waiting for 2 weeks for a phone call on whether or not I got a job. still waiting.
2. zits. they have the nerve to inhabit my face....without asking.
3. drew barrymore. I didn't like ET and still don't like her.
4. renee zellweger. If I want to look at a sad puppy...I will, I just don't want to see the resemblance in your face.
5. sunburns. got a scorching red hot one yesterday.
6. people who complain about someone's blog because it's not perfect enough. it's called creativity.
7. top gear. such dry british humor...no thanks.
8. feeling like I'm not independent.
9. working on my house...it never ends.
10. other people telling me their problems...as if i can fix them.

Some of the things I've recently discovered about myself.

1. I really do love when the rain softly falls.
2. girl meets GOD is really good. I only put it down because I get so excited to pick it back up again.
3. I'm a good bargain hunter. 7 tops, 1 black pant, 3 necklaces-$100.
4. I like tik tok by ke$ha more than I probably should.
5. I realized that I need to sit with a good book and cup of tea more often.
6. I really do want to go back to church and be more of a member of community.
7. I love painting my nails.
8. I feel like I used to be such a go-getter in high school, and I'm trying to figure out what happened. Did I change? Did I get lazy? or am I just exhausted?
9. I keep my mouth shut and eat my own words when sometimes, I should just let the world know how I feel.
10. I did let the world know how I feel and sent it to Post Secret.

Girl Meets God

2010-06-01T12:16:00.000-07:00

I was finally able to delve into the books I recently ordered and chose Girl Meets God first.

Her whole testament of her faith throughout the pages is just fascinating. It is the perfect prose between her Jewish life and Christian calling. Lauren Winner is the daughter of a Southern Baptist mother and a Jewish father and she tells of how her spiritual journey has changed and developed over the course of her 25 or so years. I am not even done with 2/3 of the book and came across something that has just stuck with me. I have a fairly Catholic background and understand the ins and outs of Christian holidays and Lent is an especially important one. Every year Christians try to figure out something they can give up or take up to pass the forty days before Easter and wait for Jesus' Resurrection. The part that has been sticking with me is that Lauren presents Lent as not "giving up" something but more as, figuring out the best present you could give to Jesus for the 40 days during Lent. Her sacrifice was going to be food on Fridays. She felt this was the best thing she could give to Jesus. It was her sustenance, something she couldn't live without and figured it would suffice. Come to realize through the help of a priest, that she could live without food. But that she should give up reading during Lent as the greatest gift she could give to Jesus. This was no small feat, after she described her apartment housing over 3000 books.

I've been concentrating on this and the way she presented it to shape my own religious views. I too feel that not being able to read would impact my life in a way that nothing else would. This has been sticking with me. More like moving me to make a change. And, in the back of my mind all I can think about is a quote "God disturbs the comfortable and comforts the disturbed" I feel like this is one of life's signs leading me onto another path...I'm just not sure where it will lead.

When I die

2010-05-26T21:46:00.000-07:00

I hope there are no tears of sadness...only happiness.

I went to funeral today. I went to pay my respects to the family who lost their father, grandfather and brother 5 days ago. I wasn't sad, until the music started playing. Then I cried. A lot.

During the service I started praying.

I prayed that during my lifetime I will touch as many people through my time here on this earth as will be invited to my wedding. I say this because I want to know that I lived a good life and did my best to spread happiness to someone.

When I die....

I hope there are no tears of sadness...only happiness.

Greenthumb magic

2010-05-25T20:59:00.000-07:00

Planted the garden over the weekend. Since moving into this place, the garden area had gone unattended for a while. This year though, it's definitely moving in the right direction. I planted eggplant, cucumbers, carrots, tomatoes, zucchini, and spinach. Now it's just a waiting game to see what will grow and what won't.

Saturday Sales

2010-05-22T20:21:00.000-07:00

These are my weekend Garage Sale finds. I first stumbled upon the bird pictures 6 for $5 and got them as office decorations. At one other sale I found a birdcage for $2 ($19 new) and puzzles. Not just a few puzzles, I counted 14 STACKS of puzzles. The lady made a deal of 5 for $1 so I bought 10. Then I came across a Harry Potter Uno deck, which is amazingly awesome. Uno is kind of a big deal around here. And at the last sale I found approximately 10 knitting needles and a knitting made easy book. But, the best find of all today was the creepy looking doll. I've been trying to research it and I've figured out so far that it's a Flower doll from the movie Bambi. I don't know much more than that about it but I'll be putting it on eBay soon and hope to get $50 for it.

Garage sale total: $15. Garage sale profit: my happiness and hopefully $35.

2010-05-20T07:16:00.000-07:00

My not so secret love affair....

I love love love Peppermint Mocha creamer. So much that I even wrote to Coffeemate thanking them for having it available all year round. This is usually the best part of my day until something else comes along to top it. Like this quote...already made me laugh a little.

I do much of my creative thinking while golfing. If people know you're working at home they think nothing of walking in for a cup of coffee, but wouldn't dream of interrupting on the golf course. - Harper Lee

2010-05-19T21:38:00.000-07:00

My favorite part of today........was getting the book club choices for the summer. I volunteer with a youth group every Wednesday night and I have been looking forward to book club all year. The titles we chose were

Rediscovering Catholicism by Mat Kelly

A Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs.

Both of these books sounds so exciting. I also have another book, Girl Meets God by Lauren Winner on my to read list as well.

I don't know what it is, but I love books. I love reading as much as I can. Even though I love reading, I'm really picky about what I do read.

Some fatal character flaw I suppose.

The rest of the story

2010-05-18T16:42:00.001-07:00

After everything that has happened over the last year, I have become more and more content with the current path I'm on. All at once it felt like the yellow brick road leading me to where I need to be was being laid down. I feel that it is all falling into place. I recently applied for a retail sales position. Yesterday, I went in for a group interview. There were 7 of us and 4 openings. dun dun dun. I feel bad that not everyone will make the cut. This is kind of weird because in nursing school, I could care less about my fellow classmates. Anyway, while in the interview, there were 4 people vying for the retail position. Well, the manager mentioned that there was a gourmet food and beverage position open. I jumped on it. At the end of the interview, the manager asked me to stay behind and for everyone else to leave. She pretty much said that she was extremely interested in me being the next department head of gourmet. It came as a great relief after the last year. Going through the summer with my cousin, fixing up a house, going to hell and back during nursing school, and trying to fit in in business school. It's been a whirlwind of a ride but now I feel like there is someone looking over me saying it's all ok. I've got this.

My Story

2010-05-07T19:48:00.001-07:00

I've recently been thinking more and more about changes in my life. Some of these changes are big and some fairly minuscule. I attended a presentation by soon to be high school graduates and they talked about the changes that have come to them so far in their lives. One of the students made a very good point that just as a book changes from beginning to end, so do we. Change is inevitable. It could be positive or negative but it will happen. Along with this inevitable change we all face. I have gone through some pretty intense ones over the last year. Usually when changes are discussed they include a death or life altering event but mine are minor compared to some. I graduated from high school in 2007 and throughout my four years there I had my career goals set. I was going to do something involving medicine or science. So, I took 4 years of sciences including; anatomy, biology 1, biology 2, chemistry, a medical careers class, and sports medicine. I had it set, I had a plan. The first detour I took from this plan was the beginning of a relationship. This was not a part of the plan at all. I had planned on attending a local college after graduation but in the middle of the summer, I made yet another change to attend a college 2 hours away from my hometown. It was kind of an unnerving change but I felt it was the right thing for me at the time. So, I enrolled in the school's nursing program and began my nursing education. I knew at the beginning of the program that I would be returning to my hometown to finish out my final two years of the program. So, this was an expected change but still a scary one because I was starting to feel like this relationship was going down the right path. So, fast forward to the beginning of summer 2009. I had just made my expected move to my hometown and my cousin calls me and says that she fell down a flight of stairs and broke her ankle. Well, after some quick thought, it was determined it would be best for her to come to my hometown for surgery and recovery. So, I made another change at this time to take care of her full time for the next 8 weeks. After she was able to walk on her ankle and get around on her own, my duties were over and it was time to begin my Junior 1 semester of Nursing school. Over the course of this semester, I learned how to give injections, how to communicate with patients, how to write 24 page care plans in 48 hours, and how to give up every waking minute to school. This point in my life made me realize how this change was impacting me. I dreaded getting up in the morning because it meant that I had to study or complete an assignment in a ridiculous amount of time. I especially dreaded Thursdays because it meant that I was expected to go clinical and utilize the skills I had learned and actually put them in practice. I had patients with chronic health conditions and I did not enjoy anything I did for them. I would feel extremely nauseated on Thursday mornings because I didn't want to go to clinical and when I was there I would avoid providing any extra care to patients. I provided the care that was required of me but couldn't bring myself to go above and beyond. I continued in this way until I realized that I needed to re-evaluate my current situation. I was making trips to see my boyfriend every two weeks and this was the only time that I felt alive again. I felt normal being able to be around people that didn't feel the same stress that I did. I also was unable to teach a class of first grade students and this was the largest sacrifice I had to make during nursing school. I felt like the program had taken every ounce of energy out of me and had made me quit everything I had ever enjoyed doing. During this re-evaluation time, I realized that the only time I really truly had to myself was the ten minutes I took to shower. During my showers I thought of my current situation and what I didn't like or agree with about it. The thought came upon me that maybe I should make a change. Maybe I should think my decisions through instead of just going with my current situation. My biggest fear at this point in time was that I would continue school, graduate and then get a different degree. At this same point in time, I would babysit once a week and while I was driving, I would pray to God. I was so desperate for a change and I didn't even see it. When I was praying to God, I was asking him to please let another car hit me so instead of going to the hospital as the nurse, I would go to the hospital as a patient. I didn't realize how much I didn't like what I was doing and where my life was going. Eventually during one of my showers I just asked myself, "Do you want to be a nurse?". When I couldn't come up with a definitive answer of yes, I was like, what am I doing then? I didn't want any part of being a nurse. I hated the politics of nursing school, pleasing people and jumping through hoops that were ridiculous. There was more complaining than doing during study sessions because we were paying instructors to tell us what to read but not actually teach the material. I was finally content with my realization. I knew that there needed to be a change and I was the one who had to be that change. I had to do this for myself. So after an emotional meeting with my mom, my decision was made. I was going to sit with my decision for two weeks and then if I felt it was still what I wanted to do, quit nursing school to pursue other options. These two weeks were much more relaxed than the last four months had been. I felt like writing a book entitled, "You quit nursing school, now what?" and I could actually do things without feeling like I had to study or had something else I needed to be doing. I could relax and just take a breath and live. After my two weeks were over, I made the phone call to drop my nursing classes. I was so relieved. After talking to my boyfriend's parents, they suggested that I enroll in classes at the school in our hometown instead of going to school where he was because I had family in town that could support me. So, the next day I went to the school in my hometown I was originally planning on attending and enrolled in the business management program and began classes a week later. I was definitely in a much better position. I was the smart kid again. Business school had a much lower stress level attached to it which made the program much more enjoyable. Business was not something I originally had planned but maybe it's exactly where I needed to be. After these last four months, I'm still not sure what I need to be doing or what life has in store for me but I know that I will go in the right direction. At this point in time, I am looking for summer employment and looking forward to continuing school.

After looking back on the last year of my life I realized that there are always changes happening just like in books. There is always something changing or there wouldn't be much of a plot. I have also realized that during my darkest times of praying to God to let me get hurt, it was really a time that I needed help the most. I needed His guidance instead of praying for something bad to happen. When being given the opportunity to take a step back, maybe all of the troubles and turmoil I went through to get to this point was all a part of God's plan for me. Even though I have a plan for myself, I did realize that sometimes God's plan is much greater than the one I have for myself. Another realization that occurred for me was the feeling I had when I decided to quit nursing school and make a change. I was at Peace. At peace with myself, at peace with my decision and at peace with all of my troubles. Peace is a part of the seven Fruits of the Spirit and at this point in time I feel it is the most important one. I was relieved and content with my decision. The calm and understanding that came over me at this time was one that I have never felt before. Maybe this was all a part of God's plan for me but all I do know for certain is that my life is like a book, always changing.